The Abyss

It’s kind of daunting when you think about it all. The person you’re possibly dating right now is either going to break up with you or you’ll spend the rest of your life with them. I think there’s some meme out there that says dating is just learning more and more about another person each day until one day we hate everything we’ve found out and we decide we don’t want to know any more about them. And then it’s over.

I mean, that’s just life in general, isn’t it? In Overwatch, I’m either going to win SR, lose SR or draw the match. When I get behind the wheel of my car, I’m either going to reach my destination or get in an accident or get side-tracked and lost inside a Best Buy admiring the latest display for an MSI laptop. The girl I was talking to? Right. Her. She’s either going to be my girlfriend or she’ll fade into the abyss and be absolutely nothing to me a year from now.

Yeah, I know. That’s cold, Abe. That’s mean. It’s the brutal truth though. She knows that. Because that’s how this works, isn’t it? Because there’s gray, there’s the black and white. Probability and outcomes. I somewhat dig in deep with that kind of chaos and attempt to find order in it while I’m campaigning. I’m either going to wake up tomorrow or I won’t (chances are I will).

I don’t think it’s overly pessimistic to view it that way. It’s realistic. It’s stupid to walk into something, especially when it comes to relationships, expecting only what we want out of it. It’s bitter and cold to only expect the worst-case scenario. I trust people to be true to who they are, though. I trust people to fall-back on their most natural tendencies.

Do you wanna know why the polling last cycle was so off? People were afraid. They were afraid of telling these phone callers and surveyors what they actually thought. We live in such a shitty, politically correct world. We’re at this point where folks are too afraid of the violent and often-times rage-fueled tirades of those who disagree and those with hurt feelings.

Sometimes relationships are that way. People are afraid of being honest because it might make them look heartless, mean or they might become unlikeable. I’ve learned to read in between the lines. I get it. I’m getting good at it.

Look. Yes. I’m bitter. This is one of my angry and not-so-witty posts where I just want whoever-the-hell-is-reading-this to feel sorry for me. The last three girls I dated cheated on me. Is it because I’m inadequate? Probably not. It’s because Eminem was right and love is evil, spell it backwards omg yes it’s so clever isn’t it? No it’s because they were awful girlfriends and I trust people to be true to their nature and to ultimately act and choose what’s most absolutely best for them. Am I unlucky? I’d say no. Like, I was either going to marry one of those girls or not be with them. It’s the latter. And that’s okay because I’d much rather have learned how shitty of a partner they were before committing to anything significant, like letting them name one of my cats.

Oh wait.


Look, I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. But this post is a warning. Be careful out there. We’re begging for heartbreak, I swear. We’re just asking for it. And me? I’m done. For now. I’m going to get lost in the world of Overwatch and just not worry about it all because OW is simple and it is love and it is life and the only heartbreak that happens is when my group kicks me because I’m tea-bagging the enemy Reaper too much and instigating an all-chat war full of flaming and Diamond-level medaled toxicity. And right, remember what I said? I can read in between the lines. Enjoy the abyss, darling.

Oh Florida please be still tonight

Don’t disturb this love of mine